Big Piddie 6
by GalacticTrooper954
Summary: "Hey readers, remember me! Yeah, getting a movie in 2016...but no we're not talking about that. Apparently the Mouse himself remade a forgotten comic series called 'Big Hero 6', can you believe that? Oh wait, a crossover...crap! Well, if you guys are familiar with me, I'm vulgar, sexual and raunchy...which means kiddies don't click. But yeah, let's get this crap started!"
1. Meet Wade Wilson

Do not own anything Disney, Marvel or Fox (Certainly not the Fox version of Deadpool, you can keep that garbage!)

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><p>Ah, assassinations...it always makes me feel so alive! Especially when they're hard to kill...although I do feel bad they're mostly college students and one of them is basically Catholic priest bait, although he has a giant robot defending him, so I am absolutely justified to kill him...pretty much like Megatron in Michael Bay's garbage excuse of a movie. Although, maybe I could fake some deaths of some these very cute babes.<p>

That's when a disk hits me in the head, "Babe, I don't like it THAT rough...but maybe for you."

Suddenly, a wave of pink goo pins me to the wall and I see who did it, oh yeah...they wanted me!, "Blondie here likes them tied up...reow!"

Ok, maybe she didn't want me, but her face is hilarious isn't it?

**"One of them looks like Domino!"**

_"Maybe we should focus on the fight?" _

**"One of them's got a nice ass!" **

_"Well, you do have me there."  
><em>

"HOLD ON! PAUSE EVERYTHING! I forgot something!"

Time itself seems to freeze, Gogo is just within seconds of smacking Deadpool with one of her disks, Honey Lemon is messing with her device to conjure a chemical compound, Hiro and Baymax are soaring to their assistance while Fred and Wasabi are just joining them, but time is frozen so nothing is happening...basically what happened in the post-credit scene for Wolverine.

**You mean the fact, that they all have weird names? Oh...or the fact the Asian girl has a nice body!**

_"The fact that you're about to get totally annihilated by college students and a teenager."_

"No and no...we have readers!"

_"You mean you forgot?"_

**"Who remembers that crap anyway?"  
><strong>

_"I'm sure they would like to know what's going on?"  
><em>

**"*groans* Does that mean we have to go back?"**

"Yup. That's exactly what it means!"

**"Can we just do it in a montage?"**

_"That really wouldn't clear things up."  
><em>

**"Well...at least there's boobs."  
><strong>

_"Indeed...boobs."_

"Hey smart voice, you're supposed to be smart, but it's boobs, you're off the hook...Oh yeah!"

The Merc with a Mouth pulls out a remote, "Where's the damn rewind button?"

A white square symbol appears in the corner and an animated menu appears in the back ground, the title of the story hitting Deadpool in the head, "Fuck! That really hurt!"

_"Maybe you should press the right button."_

**"He's used to Xbox, remotes are a thing of the past!" **

REWIND

"Ah, here we are, now shut up voices, let me explain!"

**THE BIG PIDDIE 6**

"The fuck? Writer, what kind of fucking Title is that?"

**"Lame!"**

_"Do you have anything better?"_

**WADE WILSON VS. THE WORLD**

_"You're not fighting the world though."_

"Fuck, everybody's a critic...fine!"

**THE BIG PIDDIE 6**

Alright, so it begins in my apartment...

El Paso, Texas

What was common place in this shit-hole of a city? Police sirens, cats screeching, unintelligible Spanish and poor English being thrown about...why did I stay here? Sam's Tacos of course...that's all the reason to stay here...or where ever my fair Taco maker would go. But then I get this email from a guy named Alistair Krei, get this from San Fransokyo. Ha, if that didn't sound like some weird Hipster wet dream, then I don't know what does. I was given five targets to eliminate for the payment of 5 billion dollars...and a life time supply of Chimichangas and a endless Coupon for IHOP!

This man knew a way to my heart...no homo, freaks! But yes, I was to meet this individual within his place.

FAST FORWARD pass the plane ride of Screaming children and elderly...oh did I mention I highjacked the plane? Just kidding...but seriously...they were way too fucking slow! Yeah then there's the taxi ride from Steve Irwin resurrected, God if the stingray didn't kill him, it really fucked him up! But moving on to the residence of Alistair Krei, stereotypical billionaire entrepreneur, who was doing what you ask?

Well the classic would be playing golf by hitting a ball in a cup in his office smelling of fresh mahogany and surrounded by various scotches, but this wasn't that type of manly boss.

Oh no, he was the hipster effeminate type who lived in what looked like a terrible Star Wars set up (Got Clones?), and was surrounded by various types of wine. Seriously, who the fuck drank wine? Drink beer or hard liquor like everyone else you rich pussy! Hold on, $ 5 Billion and tacos...and IHOP...focus Wade...focus!

"So, Mr. Wilson, your reputation precedes you." He smiles at me...dude I will not fuck you!

"Yeah, I know. So what is it...five so-called super heroes and a giant robot? Sounds easy!"

"Try not to make it...too messy."

"Don't worry, I'll take a can of spray paint and spray your name on a Billboard sign near their dead bodies."

He chuckles, good, at least he had a sense of humor...unlike most guys now-a-days. Shit, some of them remind me of Logan...that's Wolverine for you non-comic types.

"Well, just be sure you're not hanging them anywhere as a trophy."

I look over at him, "Do I look like a sick, sadistic bastard?"

"And we were off. Actually, that's where I'll leave off...I need some Chimichangas. If you readers wouldn't demand for so much damn explanation you wouldn't have to wait until the next chapter! Now for a friendly message from the voices inside my head!"

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><p><em>The writer would like to thank you for reading.<em>

**RnR, guys!  
><strong>

_He means, rate and review, guys.  
><em>

**It's so much better in text lingo! I don't have to type as much!  
><strong>

_You don't type, you're a voice inside a head!  
><em>

**That's what she said!  
><strong>

_I don't think that works like you think it does.  
><em>

"Hey readers, rate and review...maybe you'll see Honey Lemon tying me up some more...oh yeah! Seriously though...show support, so this writer doesn't go offing himself for failing at life! Oh and fanfic girls...call me! Oh and as a friendly reminder for my friend, Wolverine, SUCK IT!"


	2. Not a montage this time

Ah shut up! I don't always eat chimichangas, but when I do, it's long and delicious.

**That's what she said!**

_Is this the story or the introduction to this chapter?_

**Look at the line thingy below us!**

_Oh, sorry. I'm usually in Comic books or video games. Not much of our audience has an attention span to read words upon words._

**Squirrel!**

_See my point?_

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><p>So there I was...in San Fransokyo. I wasn't the mercenary Alistair Krei deserves, but I am the one he needs...and the one he paid. So therefore, I would do my duty. I would take the fall, I would murder those children...well one child who's technically not a child within a few years, wouldn't survive prison if he was sent there...Oh yeah, Disney may rule this universe but they will never stop with incidents that involve dropping the soap...<p>

ANYWAY, he won't have to worry about that because I'm going penetrate him...with my swords...Oh God, you people weren't...GET OUT OF HERE, THIS ISN'T THAT TYPE OF FANFICTION!

All you sickos and freaks who write about penises going in butts, and incest...*shudders*

**You sick bastards just made another sick bastard shudder.**

_This does say a lot about this fandom._

This fandom, buddy, have I got a list to show you...including Kingdom Hearts, furries, Super Natural...

_I've seen this list...I can't believe you would do such things with Wolverine..._

YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH, SMART VOICE!

**Yeah, what he said!**

So moving on with the story, not the Lime you've been hoping for. SO there I was, upon the sky scrapers of San Fransokyo, reminding me of my days of Sumo wrestling...oh yeah I sumo wrestled and I was quite skilled. But that's not important, what's important is that this team of super heroes would help me pay for my bad habits and permanent visitation to IHOP, pancakes that smell like...victory. And victory shall be mine...meaning pancakes of course!

So I see...a big red robot looking like a fat Iron man with a little kid climbing on his back like the bastard Gremlin this little shit is...yeah that's him. Time to die, you little bastard!

**So much anger!**

_Do you necessarily hate this kid you never met?_

Nah, I just like calling him a little bastard, haha! So I leap from the the building diving towards the little bastard on top of the big bastard and here they come, flying towards me. Speaking of flying.

_You can't fly, remember?_

Oh, I know so. Coming closer, coming closer.

"Oh dear God, help me...I'm a maniac and I can't fly!"

I hear the little bastard speak, "Calm down and grab on."

Not even if it was Angelie Jolie's tit...oooohh, tits...hehe.

**Boobs are fun!**

_Focus!_

So I pull out my pistols, "I'm sorry buddy, it's time to die!"

They just fly out of the way though and I sigh, "Damn it! That didn't go as smooth as I planned. Oh wait, they're below me! GOOD SIRS, WOULD YOU MIND HOLDING THIS FOR ME?!"

Ha, a grenade...classic. Unfortunately though where did I find it...under my own ass...FUCK! So here I was, falling, with bleeding chaps...

_Talk about butt hurt._

**Smart voice, you're actually funny!**

_I have my moments._

"Indeed, sir, indeed!"

I here a very robotic voice, it must be the big bastard!

"Diagnosis indicates the patient is...insane."

I look over, seriously, "Did I seriously just get called insane by a robot? Well, Logan, it's confirmed, I am bat shit crazy."

A bar in Los Angeles

Wolverine has a glass of whiskey in one hand, cigar in the other and he growls, "No shit, Wade!"

Back to the present moment

I look over and...he's controlling the big bastard.

"I've got an idea! Hold on, pipsqeak!"

I grab a hold of the robot's arm and swing my way...wait what am I calling him a robot for, he's a main character for crying outloud!

"Baymax, right?"

"Yes, sir, that is my name...how did you..."

"There's no time to explain, now shut up and let me pilot you!"

"Actually, sir, I am programmed to..."

So I make the time out symbol and time itself freezes...I'm like Professor X, except...WRITER, make it to where I can control Baymax.

"Are you serious? You're fucking Deadpool, I doubt anybody's going to really question your ability to just randomly take Baymax for a joy ride?"

Ah shit, thanks man. It's better than fucking High Moon, damn they were pricks! Alright...back to story!

"Alright you big bastard, I'm in control now. This is your Captain Deadpool speaking, we're going to take a flight...shit I don't know...just enjoy this little joy ride! YEAAAHHHH! THRUST, BABY, THRUST!"

And thus my newly acquired robot slave thrusts like the Millenium Falcon into the Kessel Run, thrusts like the Enterprise into the unknown space. Thrusts like...

_Christopher Columbus sailing into the Atlantic Ocean._

**Like our penis into hot chicks!**

Ha, I knew you'd go there you two! We ride and where is our Hiro you ask...hanging out behind me...no seriously he's just hanging there...he's got some hard grip...he hasn't even let go yet.

I look back, yeah it's time to fuck with him, "Hey buddy, do you beat your dick with that arm!"

I saw the teen blush...oh yeah he did!

"You got some mad grip right there man...I use both hands...so they're both good. I see you're left handed, not many of you around!"

Baymax replies, "In that category, Hiro is also ambidextrous."

"Baymax, what the hell!"

"Your muscle configuration indicates multiple instances of pleasuring the penis."

I slap the damn thing across the back of his head, "Hey buddy, don't make it gay! I was just joking with the little shit."

"My audio receptors detect profanity."

I turn him right into an office window which we fly through...a women's bathroom, hey! And I look back to see a pair of white panties covering Hiro's face.

"What kind of fucking bathroom has a window!"

"It was most likely designed to be aesthetically pleasing, not prepared for instances like this."

_He does have a point there._

**Are we going to downplay the fact Hiro has panties on his face.**

Oh yeah, "Hey Hiro, nice panties!"

He finally is able to wipe it off letting the pair of knickers float so gracefully in the wind...then falling thousands of feet to the ground to make a man lucky.

Church

"Dear Lord, I know it's a sin, but I ask of you...just give me a sign. Give me a sign that she's the one."

He bows his head in the courtyard of the church bowed before a cross then suddenly a pair of panties falls in front of him, which he looks up and he sees the strange undergarments.

He picks them up and he screams, "Thank you, thank you Jesus! Thank you!"

Back to the sky

I see the young man putting forth arduous effort to regain control of Baymax when I steer the droid...er robot towards a pristine looking University saying SFIT.

**Do they have drive through schools?**

_What do you think?_

Anything's a drive through if you fly fast enough...or drive...up to you.

"BANANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The Nerd Lab (Seriously guys, you couldn't come up with something better?)

"Fred, give me my wrench back!"

The dirty blonde scoffs, "Not until you admit that laser cannons are a science, not science fiction."

"This argument is ridiculous!"

Suddenly their arguing comes to a halt when suddenly WE COME BURSTING THROUGH!  
>Ha, I love it when everyone else is suffering from the initial impact...Hiro fell off before we could face impact which leads to...me catching him.<p>

"Hiro Hamada, you are the luckiest boy alive as you are caught by the one and only, Deadpool! What do you have to say?"

"Who are you and how do you know my name?"

"One, I already told you and two, your mask needs tint if you want to claim secret identity."

Everyone else is groaning but then I hear one scream, "OH MY GOD IT'S DEADPOOL!"

I hear a pair of feet running and I see a long haired dude running towards me...that must be Fred (Yes, I actually read the script people otherwise I wouldn't be able to destroy the 4th wall like I am)

"Dude, I need your autograph!"

He throws me a pillow resembling my head which I sign immediately, "Only available at Spencer's!"

He coos with enthusiasm, wait...I'm supposed to kill him aren't I...damn it Wade...I hate being compassionate.

Hiro then wrestles his way out of my arm and Baymax also rises out of the rubble to which then I hear an explosion and I look to see pink goo rushing towards me...fast forward and that's where we're at...the beginning of chapter one.

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><p>"Now do you get the picture?"<p>

OW! "Gogo, babe! You need to stop being rough...what's the safe word! What's the safe word, I forgot,,,aaaaahhh!"

Not to mention she just grabbed me and is now dragging me on the road! What's the positives? I'm getting rough housed by an incredibly sexy, hot chick and I'm finding out I'm allergic to asphalt at really high speeds. However I think my nerves got damaged and upon throwing me, I feel a wave of pink goo encase me...man these women and how they treat their men...it's insane! I'm rolling round in a giant play dough ball when I see a laser blade point towards me.

"Ooooohhh, shiney!"

I hear the man growl, "Move any more and I cut you!"

"Wow, dude, you are the whitest black guy I know. No, seriously, not even Obama has anything on you. You're like the black Weird Al!"

And they roll me...and roll me...

**Dey see me rollin!**

_They're hating!_

"I just wanna roll with the gangstas but they won't let me in just because I'm Wade and Crazy...I'm Wade and Crazyyy! Oh another song! Crazy, I'm crazy for feeling so lonely! Oh, I'm crazy!"

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><p>Oh no, the Big Hero 6 caught Wade Wilson, Mercenary Extraordinaire. What will happen? Why am I talking like an old action hero announcer, or for younger kids, like that Fish News Anchor on Spongebob!<p>

(Ugh, I can't believe I just made that reference.)

_Wade?_

Yes, smart voice?

_I don't think this story can contain anymore insanity!_

**NONSENSE!**

SUPERCALIFRICTIOUSEXPIALODOCIOUS, EVEN THOUGH THE SOUND OF IT SOUNDS QUITE ATROCIOUS!

What the fu-

Opera music plays, rainbow shines and here I ride upon my winged tiger with my hot babe holding me from behind as I hold my incredible sword of adventure!

By the way, you left the story 11 lines ago, I'd measure it by time, but some of us are still Hooked on Phonix!

_Be sure to show your appreciation...we know things get a bit...hectic for the reader._

**But the writer's having fun with his acid trip.**

Me: SHIT, THAT'S NO TURTLE IT'S A FUCKING DRAGON!

_So, is it rate and review or subscribe._

**Subscribe is Youtube...**

Alright, CHAPTER OVER, SEE YOU NEXT TIME!


	3. Mmmmm Honey Lemon

"Crazy for feeling so lonely!"

I get smacked in the head by a metallic disk, wow she needs to stop hitting me.

"Damn it, what's the safe word!"

She screams, "Shut the fuck up!"

Well, that was the safe word, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Baymax then does what he does best, embarrass the living crap out of people, "I believe this man believes he is in a state of sexual activity, diagnosis: masochism."

Hiro sighs, "Baymax, don't even bother. He's insane."

Baymax insists, "Insanity may not be curable, but it can be controlled."

Fred then suddenly realizes, "Dudes, he can break the fourth wall. What if, we're in some kind of movie and he rewrites the script?"

Hold on, I'm the one who breaks the 4th wall, "Hey! ONLY I CAN BREAK THE 4TH WALL! NOW SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND EXPLAIN THIS WEIRD SHIT TO THEM!"

Wasabi shrugs as they somehow compress the goo to hold me as they drag me in...seriously guys, I'm only under two hundred pounds, "Well, we were going to ask Fred."

Fred, "Isn't that awesome!"

Gogo, Hiro and Honey Lemon...ooohh, upskirt...yum...oh baby! Yup, she definitely needs to thicken those leggings and god, yellow panties with purple, it's like you wanted me to see them. Please guys, keep arguing...yes don't stop!

Oh yeah they were yelling at the geekiest of them all, "Don't tell me you're starting to go crazy like him!"

Yeah, he was. I knew that smile...he was basically fan girling over this...great advantage to have. Oh damn it, oh actually yeah stay there, oh bending over to put your purse away...my god...ok granny panties, meh they're ok, maybe she's the innocent school girl type. Oh wait...of course she is. I feel my head get kicked by a yellow boot.

I look over to see a very angry Asian woman, "Close your eyes you pervert!"

Well fuck it, "Yellow panties look good on you, miss."

Then suddenly a squeal and another kick to my head, she was blushing up a storm, ha! Meanwhile the guys are staring as she proceeds to kick the living crap out of my face, even the other angry chick had to hold her back...which gave me another great view of her crotch...

**Boner engaged!**

_You almost forgot about us, Wade._

Somehow...due to the strength of the plot permitting, I black out and find myself in laser binding...what was this, Justice League? Well I guess it was better than going Christopher Nolan on the set up. I look up to see the group still in costume and I smirk.

"Let me guess, blondie's pissed because I know she wears granny panties."

With her arms crossed, I could see fire within her eyes.

"No offense, but I imagine you getting a lot of wedgies in school, and you liked it."

OUCH! Wow, I had no ideas wedgies would be so offensive...then again, I don't think it feels good getting hurt by your own underwear, not that I would know.

My attention comes to a voice to somebody much shorter than me and he snarls, "Who are you?"

I sigh, "Didn't fan girl over there explain to you who I am?"

He sneers, "So you're Deadpool?"

I roll my eyes, if they could even see, "I mean who else has regenerative powers besides Wolverine?"

The big bastard I flew into the school speaks up, "He is correct. I have scanned him and his body indicates to have a rapid regenerative cell production."

"You scanned me without a proper colonascopy?!"

**How rude?!**

_Some healthcare companion._

Baymax couldn't take a hint though, "That is not within the perimeters of my job and I'm afraid you're quite too young to be concerned with such issues."

I could see the whole group face palm. Yeah, robots can be oblivious at times, especially now. This was going to be fun.

"Hey Baymax, how's Honey Lemon's health?"

Hiro snarls, "How do you know our names?"

I sigh again annoyed, "Didn't Fred just mention to you about me breaking the 4th wall?"

He looks just as annoyed as I was and I look up to see Baymax scanning my lovely blonde sex model.

"Scan complete."

She shrieks, "Stop scanning me!"

"You appear distressed...embarrassed from this Deadpool's sexual harassment. Your blood pressure is on high and there appears to be some blushing occurring."

She just storms out the room...yeah I get it, he could a bit too much at times.

**Kinda reminds me of Cable.**

_Where is he, anyhow?_

He's not a part of this story, besides. I need to somehow get this Honey Lemon chick to like me...seriously, we could make some nights quite lovely!

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><p>Hold on, this writer is going in the back working on what Baymax would call muscular configurations. Hey writer, you done back there!<p>

Me: Why isn't there any Honey Lemon sex fanfics, WHAT THE HELL DEADPOOL!

What the hell, writer! You have a chapter to finish!

Me: GET THE F-

*BLEEP*

_There appears to be technical difficulties. Leave some rates or reviews until we get this fixed._

**Haha, he was beating it to Honey Lemon.**

_Honestly who could blame him? She's the very model of sex appeal._

**With a little touch of innocence.**

Hey, guys, would you mind coming inside of my mind to help me fix this shit? One time he's caught beating it, he tears up the whole studio.


	4. A Change of Heart

**Deadpool: Hey readers, we apologize for the reader having wet dreams about Hiro.**

**In that story, he was of age and taller!  
><strong>

**Deadpool: Whatever, "Chris." If that's even your real name!**

**It's not.**

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><p>So there I was, being under the interrogation of a group of college kids. Ha, sounds like a fraternity! But there I was, being bitch slapped into stupidity. Boner was definitely engaged, however my face was starting to hurt despite my healing factor.<p>

"Babe, if I wanted my face to hurt this much, I'd be Catholic and become a altar boy."

That earned me another slap, seriously what's the fucking safe word here?

"Why are you trying to kill us?"

I stare at her, "Was that all?! That's all you had to do was ask! I got paid to kill all of you little bastards and the big bastard right there."

She snarls, "Who hired you?!"

"Some fruity bastard, who was it...Krei?"

Everyone's eyes seem to open wider than my ass on a bad work day.

Although Fred is the one to ask, "Are any of you really surprised?"

I look around.

_You might have said too much._

**Who cares, they're going to die anyway.**

Come on guys, I do what I want and I'm having a problem with killing any of these babes, especially if I want to sleep with them...however I wouldn't mind killing the Asian Justin Bieber and my fangirl...wait no, I can't kill him and I would just be plain racist if I killed the only black guy in the group. What about killing robots? Wait, I need to high jack him again sometime...fuck...There's plenty of people with money and IHOP coupons. Besides, pancakes don't have shit on chimichangas.

_But this kid actually hit puberty._

**Plus, he's just a kid, why would you kill a kid?**

Ok, fuck you guys...

"I'll cut you guys a deal."

The little Asian bastard sneers, "We have you in custody!"

Now I'm thinking twice about killing him.

"Look, I have enough info on his security and experience of hacking security to bring assholes like him down and make sure their business never flourishes again. Besides, isn't there Google to replace him anyway?"

Everyone shrugs with the large black man named after Asian hot sauce retorts, "He is right."

The little Asian twink asks though, "Can we trust him though?"

**IS HE SERIOUSLY QUESTIONING OUR HELP?**

_I would say he has good reason considering we tried to kill them hours before._

Shut up, voice, I know what I'm doing. Wait, was that Batman quote? Might as well play along.

"Deadpool, can we trust him?"

They're getting annoyed.

_Maybe you should talk in your normally annoying voice._

**We got 99 problems, but trust ain't one.**

I shrug, "Yeah, you can trust me, this contract is starting become a little conflicted anyway."

He asks, "Conflicted?"

"Yeah, as in I have a hard time killing you people and living with myself."

They all look to one another, holy fuck just let me out, people! Now I'm thinking twice about killing you bastards. Seriously, just fucking let me out already.

"Hey guys, you gonna let me out or are we just going to pretend Krei is just wiped from our existence."

Hiro crosses his arms, "On one condition."

**Oh, great, now he wants to negotiate.**

_Maybe we'll get something._

Highly unlikely, "Yeah, what is it?"

"You won't kill him."

Seriously, kid? I hope he knows this bastard is probably going to try to get him back if he isn't sodomized in prison. Whatever, his funeral. I didn't kill him though.

"As you say, I will not kill him." I say reluctantly

"Or injure him." He presses on

"Very well."

"Or harm him in any way, shape or form."

"Fine, no disintegration. I'll just freeze his ass in carbonite and sell him to an alien crime lord."

His glare gets stronger, "No offense kid, but those puppy eyes aren't threatening anybody except a bag of gummy bears."

I could see him blush and for some reason, because I'm just good like that, I pop a bag of gummy bears out of one of my pouches.

_Or you tweaked the script._

**I LOVE GUMMY BEARS!**

He looks up at me, "Who are you?"

"Kid, they're not poisoned, now let me out."

Wasabi asks, "And why do you have a pack of gummy bears."

"Because chimichangas aren't portable, nor do they fit in my pocket. A merc's gotta eat too, y'know?"

What, they do? Even with my healing factor, I get hungry too. Actually, especially with my healing factor I get a little more hungry than most.

He hovers his hand over the button that seems to release me, come on, you're not giving me a lap dance, guy!

I sigh, "Do we have to prolong this anymore than it has to be?"

So upon releasing the plasma holding me back, I drop the gummy bears on the table which appear unscathed and like a reluctant animal to take food, Hiro eyes the pack of gooey goodness suspiciously, I'm even surprised he didn't smell it. He picks up the pack, opening them picking up one piece to observe it.

"Oh come on, who would poison gummy bears?"

He takes a small bite, flinching as if to anticipate any sort of "poison" I would put in there. I mean, the only thing I would do is infuse them with vodka, but THAT is another story for another day.

As everyone was getting ready, I felt inclined to play Cherry Bomb, you know, that song they play in Guardians of the Galaxy where they're getting ready to kick the crap out of Ronan and the Kree. Yeah, me insuring my pistols are loaded to full capacity as well as my shot guns, laser guns, and random all sorts of weapons the writer decides to graciously grant me. Made sure my katanas were sharp, my wits sharper and meditated so that my mind may yet conjure more words to say in the right moments. See people, if you wanted to intercept my mind, it would be a Cards against Humanity game, except it would be among writers. In fact, I wouldn't so much as surprised to find out that whoever invented Cards against Humanity were my creators.

* * *

><p>"Damn it, Wade, now our money making secret is revealed!"<p>

BANG BANG BANG, "Open up, this is 20th Century Fox!"

"SHIT!"

* * *

><p>I felt a disturbance in the Force, as if suddenly millions of my fans cried out in panic and were suddenly silenced...oh wait, they thought they were continuing Wolverine Origins, oh that explains everything then! However, we should really cut it here, guys. We're getting ready to kick some ass and the next chapter will have plenty, I assure you!<p>

* * *

><p><em>So here we are readers, at a cliff hanger.<em>

**Damn it, I hate those!**

I think our readers could agree, no this is not Deadpool speaking...or is it?! *dramatic music*


End file.
